For some, they represent a fresh start. Some are neutral. Some scoff. Whatever your view on New Year’s Resolutions, we can support those who make them. In this article, I’ll make an argument as to why this is a win-win.
Positivity opens people up to new possibilities
Think about a time when someone was unexpectedly kind to you. Maybe a stranger high fived you, complimented you, or simply smiled at you. How did it make you feel?
In coaching, we practice Unconditional Positive Regard. This basically means that in any given situation, we genuinely believe that someone is doing the best they can. We appreciate and celebrate their efforts which brings forth positive emotions, and with positive emotions it’s easier to come up with new ideas and paths forward. (For more on this, check out something called the Broaden-and-build theory.)
When we treat people’s goals seriously, those goals become more credible to that person, often more specific and achievable too. This is really simple but really powerful. Often, all it takes is listening without judgment.
If someone puts in the effort to get to the gym, they belong. We can say this about any effort to build a healthy habit. If you’re willing to show up, you belong. Period.
Back to our gym example. Instead of judging, treat people in a way that will keep them coming back all year. Often, this is simply avoiding discouraging people, though if you want to go the extra mile, it can also be encouraging them when appropriate.
We already know that this can do wonders for those who may feel intimidated at starting something new like a gym habit. If this is you, you are not alone. I struggled with it hard when I first started lifting weights in college, and even now with years of experience, I still struggle with working out in public. It’s extremally common.
Observe how it makes you feel to have this nonjudgmental attitude. There’s something special about conducting ourselves in a supportive way to those around us, especially those who are putting in work to better themselves. Something lighter, freer, more peaceful, more connecting.
Acceptance ≠ Agreement
I’ll admit, I’m personally not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions as I don’t like waiting to start taking tiny steps forward. However, we must respect what others want to do for themselves. It’s totally their choice, so let’s accept and be encouraging toward our family and friends who are trying to better themselves. Doing so takes guts. Their efforts deserve respect. Sometimes this looks like actively encouraging them, sometimes it’s simply not doing anything that may discourage them.
We don’t have to agree with someone’s path to accept it. For example, I don’t have to agree with an approach of a friend doing a juice fast to start the year, but I can accept that it’s a choice they made and support them for doing so. Acceptance is about recognizing someone’s absolute worth as a whole and wise human and honoring their autonomy – that is, their right to choose their own path. Taking autonomy away from someone is a nonstarter. It’s essential to let people choose their own paths if they’re going to achieve lasting change.
Conclusion: New Year’s Resolutions
Why we should be supporting whatever others choose for themselves:
- When we support others and accept their decisions, we make their ideas more credible to them. They are more likely to follow through and see progress.
- We feel more connected with others, like we’re on a team together. Connectedness is essential to our thriving as humans. For more on this, look into self-determination theory, where relatedness and social relationships are one of the three basic psychological needs for human thriving.
Being accepting toward others improves our life satisfaction through increasing our sense of connectedness and thus strengthening our wellbeing. If someone in your life is making a resolution, look at it as an experiment to see how supporting them can positively affect you.
Health is more than just nutrition and exercise. When we’re kind and supportive toward people, it makes us feel good too. Positive emotions invite in a plethora of health benefits. A total win-win.
Oh, and Happy New Year!
If building an exercise habit is something you’re considering, there is a site called Perform Better (affiliate link) that sells equipment. Jump ropes, dumbbells, they also have treadmills and bikes if you’re into cardio. I personally workout almost exclusively at home, not at a gym, and having a few pieces of equipment can be all you need (depending on your goals, sometimes no equipment at all is totally fine). Please note that if you buy anything through my link, I will receive a commission. This doesn’t impact prices for you, and it supports me to be able to spend time writing for Core 5. For that, I sincerely thank you.
